:(

I am no true king.

You do the math. ;)

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I’ve lived in quite a few places and I still think of Maryland drivers as the worst I’ve encountered. Istanbul drivers are the most ballsy/skilled/terrifying/helpful.

Also extremely true with mushrooms.

You know you can wash your ass, right?

Yes, the firemen tend to them until you’re ready to pick them up. It’s a wonderful service.

Until ICE deports the baby right back to you, defeating the whole purpose. What a cruel joke.

Holy shit, I don’t think you can just go around saying “Lisboa sized gap,” wtf.

Discord is fucked. You love to see it.

Nope.

They all seem like teddy bears to me. Maybe SMELLY teddy bears, but still.

You made it my business. Now how’s that nipple feelin’?

No, no, I think you’re onto something.

You can call him butter, cuz he’s on a roll!

Not completely. A big chunk is Russian.

Your mom’s a Florentine.

He was trying to grab them titties, just look at him. He deserved it.

Juggalos