I challenge Lemmy users and everyone else, everywhere else I post, to please, please open up conversation with your maga uncle or neo-liberal parents.
Do not be dumb and try to start an argument, don’t accuse, don’t talk about identity or race or gender or any other issue they’re already distracted with. Just ask if they think this is going to lower their groceries costs, their medical care, ask if they wanted a war with a country they can’t point to on a map (don’t say that) when they supported this administration, and if that’s going to guarantee their social security and investments. Ask if it’s “great again” yet.
Just ask. Just make them work the question and answer out in their head, that’s your ONLY job, just plant the seed of asking how to connect these ideas, it doesn’t even matter if they get mad at you for asking, your job is to make them figure out ways to make this work in their head.
Individually, you can’t usually reach these people, but if enough of us do this all at once, we can start looking at it sociologically, like fluids, like percentages. We can still turn this around broadly, and Trump starting a war his own political-capital base doesn’t want is how we get there so we can actually use this.
Take a quick look through these reports from this month alone and then add sooner-than-expected loss of Medicare and Social Security to your arguments.
“Well, Granddad, did you know that the money for all these military actions at home and abroad are depleting your Social Security and Medicare funds far more rapidly than ever before, and that one of the major trusts funding your Social Security is expected to dry up entirely in 2032, only six years from now, because of the way Trump and his Congress is spending your cash?”
I mean, use your own wording, and your strategy of just asking the question is a great, non-threatening way to approach it. But add the detail about how soon the losses are coming now if you can, because this alone might rouse them from their stupor: NOTHING gets the Silent Generation and older Boomers up and onto their walkers faster than threats to SS and Medicare.
I feel strongly that one reason a lot of people don’t bother to actually grab sources, is because somewhere inside we know the reality is even worse than our knowledge.
Anyway, thank you, those are great and I appreciate the support on this message, we really can start the pendulum push the other direction, and this is the fulcrum that gets us there.
I definitely agree with asking questions first. I’ve tried to open by explaining how I see things in an effort to get folks to open up and share how they see them, and people are so used to that being an attempt to tell them to think something different they can kinda shut down and get defensive even just from that
Try to get them talking and engage with them sincerely. If we want to fix the problems we have to do the work to build a bigger coalition
I would like to do this. The problem is that these disagreements have become sensitive issues and addressing these topics seems like asking for trouble.
Simply put, how does one approach this topic without inviting an argument? Pointing out the simple items you’ve presented will surely make them defensive to the point of hostility.
how does one approach this topic without inviting an argument?
My advice is pretty broad and doesn’t regard for the vast, vast spectrum of potential circumstances and potential conversations that arise from our various relationships. So I can’t possibly account for everything. But I am speaking most broadly to situations when you may know someone in an interpersonal level who is open and vocal about their support for this administration and what’s happening right now. Maybe a coworker or family member or friend of a friend.
Just not someone you’re already having open arguments with IE: not someone you will feel emotional or heated talking to.
If you’re already having stressful fights with someone about politics, the chances of reaching them with questioning radically diminishes and sometimes you gotta cut your losses and move on if you can’t make headway. This is particularly painful when it’s family members, but I wouldn’t torture myself to change people just because we share DNA configurations.
I also encourage this approach of questioning only if you’re actually comfortable with some mild confrontation, because it WILL invite argument. It’s entirely in your court if you let it become a 2-sided argument, otherwise, again the idea is to JUST plant a question. They can rant and rave and throw things for two hours after you ask the question, you’re not involved anymore. You can leave. You can put your headphones on and close the door. Let them rage at themselves for being questioned.
If this is the pattern you expect, then just work in that system. Question, let them rant and rave, and move on. Make your EVERY interaction a calm, collected and pointed question about what’s happening and how they feel about it. Then let it sit there. You’re not trying to argue or you’re going to get distracted. They are very good at distracting you by saying things you’re going to feel outrage at with whataboutism, distractions and untruths, . People are very good at pushing other people’s buttons: you’re trying to do this, but in a different way. They’re trying to make you mad so they have an excuse to blow up on you. You just want them to associate this topic (politics) with your question (Is it working? Are things great yet? Can you afford healthcare and groceries yet?"). You’re not even a factor personally, you’re just the messenger for the question.
We all need to understand that with conservatism broadly, we’re never, ever going to win an argument. Ever.
Arguments are intellectual exercises where to sides make a case to each other, two sides exchange facts and perspectives and counterpoints. Conservatives do not care about this broadly, they don’t care about anything past how they feel right now, and what they want right now. They are children. And like children, they can only be trained over time with repeated reinforcement and associative teaching. Reward them when they say something good, give them compliments to engage them and take their guards down (they REALLY want your acceptance but will never admit it) and then pivot and attack the one, single idea they can handle at a time, (again, how are things better for them, how is their life better, etc.) and don’t get distracted.
What all this does is it creates imaginary arguments in their head. They will have shower-arguments with you in their heads all the time, trying to figure out what they can say to you to prove they’re right… and they’re really, really bad at your game, so they will come to you with some jackass dumbassery and you will calmly look them in the eye and ask the previous question again, forcing them to start over. Do this enough and you will train them to question their own ideas.
Do not be dumb and try to start an argument, don’t accuse, don’t talk about identity or race or gender or any other issue they’re already distracted with.
:-|
“Whatever you do, don’t mention the G word. You’ll just hand Trump more supporters.”
I challenge Lemmy users and everyone else, everywhere else I post, to please, please open up conversation with your maga uncle or neo-liberal parents.
Do not be dumb and try to start an argument, don’t accuse, don’t talk about identity or race or gender or any other issue they’re already distracted with. Just ask if they think this is going to lower their groceries costs, their medical care, ask if they wanted a war with a country they can’t point to on a map (don’t say that) when they supported this administration, and if that’s going to guarantee their social security and investments. Ask if it’s “great again” yet.
Just ask. Just make them work the question and answer out in their head, that’s your ONLY job, just plant the seed of asking how to connect these ideas, it doesn’t even matter if they get mad at you for asking, your job is to make them figure out ways to make this work in their head.
Individually, you can’t usually reach these people, but if enough of us do this all at once, we can start looking at it sociologically, like fluids, like percentages. We can still turn this around broadly, and Trump starting a war his own political-capital base doesn’t want is how we get there so we can actually use this.
Yep, and wars ain’t free.
Take a quick look through these reports from this month alone and then add sooner-than-expected loss of Medicare and Social Security to your arguments.
“Well, Granddad, did you know that the money for all these military actions at home and abroad are depleting your Social Security and Medicare funds far more rapidly than ever before, and that one of the major trusts funding your Social Security is expected to dry up entirely in 2032, only six years from now, because of the way Trump and his Congress is spending your cash?”
I mean, use your own wording, and your strategy of just asking the question is a great, non-threatening way to approach it. But add the detail about how soon the losses are coming now if you can, because this alone might rouse them from their stupor: NOTHING gets the Silent Generation and older Boomers up and onto their walkers faster than threats to SS and Medicare.
Medicare
Feb 23, 2026: In less than a year, Trump erased 12 years of solvency for the trust fund that pays for Medicare Part A – Fortune.com
Direct link to CBO report on the HI trust fund that backs Medicare:
https://www.cbo.gov/publication/62165
Social Security
February 27, 2026: Social Security faces earlier depletion date, report finds – USA Today
Direct link to the CBO report on the SS trust funds:
https://www.cbo.gov/system/files/2026-02/51309-2026-02-trustfund.pdf
I feel strongly that one reason a lot of people don’t bother to actually grab sources, is because somewhere inside we know the reality is even worse than our knowledge.
Anyway, thank you, those are great and I appreciate the support on this message, we really can start the pendulum push the other direction, and this is the fulcrum that gets us there.
I definitely agree with asking questions first. I’ve tried to open by explaining how I see things in an effort to get folks to open up and share how they see them, and people are so used to that being an attempt to tell them to think something different they can kinda shut down and get defensive even just from that
Try to get them talking and engage with them sincerely. If we want to fix the problems we have to do the work to build a bigger coalition
I would like to do this. The problem is that these disagreements have become sensitive issues and addressing these topics seems like asking for trouble.
Simply put, how does one approach this topic without inviting an argument? Pointing out the simple items you’ve presented will surely make them defensive to the point of hostility.
My advice is pretty broad and doesn’t regard for the vast, vast spectrum of potential circumstances and potential conversations that arise from our various relationships. So I can’t possibly account for everything. But I am speaking most broadly to situations when you may know someone in an interpersonal level who is open and vocal about their support for this administration and what’s happening right now. Maybe a coworker or family member or friend of a friend.
Just not someone you’re already having open arguments with IE: not someone you will feel emotional or heated talking to.
If you’re already having stressful fights with someone about politics, the chances of reaching them with questioning radically diminishes and sometimes you gotta cut your losses and move on if you can’t make headway. This is particularly painful when it’s family members, but I wouldn’t torture myself to change people just because we share DNA configurations.
I also encourage this approach of questioning only if you’re actually comfortable with some mild confrontation, because it WILL invite argument. It’s entirely in your court if you let it become a 2-sided argument, otherwise, again the idea is to JUST plant a question. They can rant and rave and throw things for two hours after you ask the question, you’re not involved anymore. You can leave. You can put your headphones on and close the door. Let them rage at themselves for being questioned.
If this is the pattern you expect, then just work in that system. Question, let them rant and rave, and move on. Make your EVERY interaction a calm, collected and pointed question about what’s happening and how they feel about it. Then let it sit there. You’re not trying to argue or you’re going to get distracted. They are very good at distracting you by saying things you’re going to feel outrage at with whataboutism, distractions and untruths, . People are very good at pushing other people’s buttons: you’re trying to do this, but in a different way. They’re trying to make you mad so they have an excuse to blow up on you. You just want them to associate this topic (politics) with your question (Is it working? Are things great yet? Can you afford healthcare and groceries yet?"). You’re not even a factor personally, you’re just the messenger for the question.
We all need to understand that with conservatism broadly, we’re never, ever going to win an argument. Ever.
Arguments are intellectual exercises where to sides make a case to each other, two sides exchange facts and perspectives and counterpoints. Conservatives do not care about this broadly, they don’t care about anything past how they feel right now, and what they want right now. They are children. And like children, they can only be trained over time with repeated reinforcement and associative teaching. Reward them when they say something good, give them compliments to engage them and take their guards down (they REALLY want your acceptance but will never admit it) and then pivot and attack the one, single idea they can handle at a time, (again, how are things better for them, how is their life better, etc.) and don’t get distracted.
What all this does is it creates imaginary arguments in their head. They will have shower-arguments with you in their heads all the time, trying to figure out what they can say to you to prove they’re right… and they’re really, really bad at your game, so they will come to you with some jackass dumbassery and you will calmly look them in the eye and ask the previous question again, forcing them to start over. Do this enough and you will train them to question their own ideas.
:-|
“Whatever you do, don’t mention the G word. You’ll just hand Trump more supporters.”
~ Average American Liberal