Now I’d never normally be in favor of kicking dogs, not even robot ones; however…

as someone also with autism, allow me: it’s a shitpost, try not to think too hard about it.

pal, you’re talking about the part of the fediverse that was not just merely interested in but intensely obsessed with BEANS for a solid week (and to some degree still is). You gotta do worse shitposting than this to make us flinch.

he eat

he poop

but most importantly

he go zoop

Crazy Larry, is that you?

“crossdressing as a girl is something only a guy can do, therefor it is the manliest possible activity.” – anonymous modern day socrates

when people tell you who they are, believe them

for instance, while I may not believe you fart actual glitter all the time, I also have no doubt that the sort of person who sets “I_Fart_Glitter” as their username also has no qualms about shoving some craft herpes up their funhole just to prove me wrong

now, taking what we’ve learned from this, what’s their username? what does it tell you? it’s quite possible they’re just unfathomably stupid, instead of or in addition to being a killjoy.

I would also add, probably watch alone. Not exactly a great movie to watch with family, nor for a romantic date. Could maybe crack some good dark jokes with friends if you’ve got the right kind of fucked-up buddies, but that’s about the only possible “enjoyable and not awkward shared viewing of Deliverance” I can envision.

Operation Fortitude II: Pneumatic Boogaloo

not every showerthoughts-worthy post is necessarily envisioned in a shower

Also, if it’s been more than a few days, take a shower for me, homie. If you won’t do it for you, do it for me. Depression is a fuck.

I’ll be damned.

Now we just need to find out if the bear’s Catholic, and we’ll be set.

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

the world is not made up of exclusively binary good/bad characters or outcomes, and most half-decent TV shows aren’t, either.

Sure, in practical terms it’s probably overkill, but that’s why I say it’s the “perfect” hygienic restroom. You don’t need to touch anything at all with your hands in the entire room after you leave the stall/urinal.

Hell, that’s another item, come to think of it – floor-flushing toilets/urinals. The electric eye/sensing ones are fine too, I guess, but having a button on the floor I could just step on (which I have seen in places) is my preference. Minimizing hand contact areas in a bathroom is always a good thing.

The perfect hygienic restroom:

Hands-free soap dispenser, set to dispense liberally (businesses never do)

A hands-free sink that actually does its fucking job and comes on at a reasonably warm temperature, with decent water pressure, for 30 seconds minimum. I can handle having to position my hands somewhere weird for a second as long as I actually get a functional goddamn sink for a usable amount of time. So many of these automated sinks fail at this it’s unreal, but I’m certain non-shitty ones exist, I have used at least one.

Motion-activated paper towel dispenser with decent paper towels loaded.

Push-to-open door with no latch (such that you can just use your shoulder or hip anywhere).

Unfortunately, every public place I’ve ever been to has at least one failing element here. Like, it’s clear some places are trying and failing; and in others it’s patently obvious they’re just trying to be cheap (miserly soap dispenser, sink set to turn off after just a couple seconds without motion in the magic spot and lukewarm temp, air blower instead of paper towels).

“The delusion of easy victory from the air may have seduced the US into another war”

stupid sexy flanders iranian leadership, looking so fuckable bombable.

It had much less to do with the attackers race, and much more to do with the fact that prior to 9/11, aircraft hijackings were primarily done for ransom, not to use the plane as a weapon for a mass casualty event.

This is the same JD Vance that repeatedly falsely claimed immigrants were eating cats and dogs in his home state, is it not?

I’m not saying a nuclear suicide vest couldn’t be done. I’m just saying, JD Vance has claimed lots of things.

the commercials themselves predate me, but you seem like you might enjoy Nostalgia Critic’s series on old commercials if you haven’t seen it already.

Also, holy shit, there were only five episodes of this last I checked, there’s like twenty of them now.