

Developmental psychology (Erik Erickson’s theory) teaches us that adults tend to go one of two ways as they approach and hit mid-life - generativity and stagnation. People who have a purpose, who are considering leaving some sort of mark or legacy, to contributing to society tend to fare better. They are happier and more satisfied as time goes on. Folks who become self-absorbed and preoccupied with their own comfort and convenience will then stagnate, which you can imagine is the cranky old person stereotype.
I do subscribe to this theory which is why at 43 I am running a non-profit I started, working to empower other leaders in my community, working on changing legislation for my community, working on building the community itself. I want to be the kind of person who is generous and kind and open-hearted, and be fulfilled. I don’t want to be the person who is counting the ways life did them wrong, using that as a justification to lick wounds and retreat from life, jaded and alone.





I got a hotdog at a food truck that appeared near my house a few years ago. I asked for just ketchup on the dog. She laughed and said “You’re a little boy! That’s OK, little boys get hotdogs too.” I’m like, lady I am giving you money right now, is there a version of this encounter where you’re not judging me?