Oh, adjacent: when I was a child I saw Grease and thought ‘Greased Lightning’ was the rippingest song around. I had a little comic book that was stills from the film and word bubbles overlaid with the dialogue and song lyrics. My mother caught 4yo me singing the word shit and tuned me up. I had no idea what I had done wrong. Unable to sing my favourite song because of one pesky word i decided to make up a placefiller word that would solve my problem. The nonsense word I invented ? CLIT. BingPowClunk

A friend thought “Pretty Vacant” by the Sex Pistols was “Streaky Bacon”. Another thought “Battery” by Metallica was “Bakery” (pronounced BAK-A-RAY). In keeping with the food theme I thought the lyric “fingernails, cigarettes; a lousy dinner” in the Replacements ‘I Will Dare’ was “bacon and cigarettes” for longer than I care to admit.

Sneeze really loudly.