Are you my niece that’s about to drop out of college because her religious BF wants to fuck and will 1million% get her pregnant?

I love so much that there are real, hilarious consequences for overzealous early adoption. You can’t make this shit up.

Right, so no shotguns? Easy. Sniper rifles, no problem.

Even better!

Nope, only applies to boobs. A curse wouldn’t seek to deny innocent people medical treatment.

Poor mamogram techs, though. Between the radiation and the boobiation… rip.

Turns out that there’s a curse on humanity that if you see more than 800 boobs in your life, your chromosomes self-destruct. But we’ve never had data to figure out all out.

Not the OS.

The OS “provider”

Linus Torvalds ain’t gonna check my ID. And i don’t want him to, either.

No matter where you go, there you are.

—Thomas a Kempis, Imitation of Christ, ca. A.D. 1440

Also

• Buckaroo Bonsai

All Americans should have frozen their credit years ago.

Right? Who would have ever thought that suggesting people inspire children would be so divisive?

It’s fairly sarcastic, and only something said between other childfree people because they get the joke.

It should be noted here that “hobbies” in this case should provide enrichment to the kids that are in your life tangentially.

Be the cool Aunt/Uncle that inspires. Give kids gifts that create memories and are unique. Open the door to creativity that their patents can’t afford it don’t have the time to manage. Basically, be grandparents with less doting and better knees.

Brewing beer or playing COD doesn’t hit the same way as teaching someone to cook or code or carve wood.

Edit: These are some of my hobbies, I’m saying that I’m also not helping matters, eirher. This isn’t judgment, it’s introspection.

Same.

Let’s all carve elaborate weird and loud toys for our friends with kids

Is this a “shitpost”? Or a “shit’s going down” post?

Whew - all the things I’m missing having switched to Linux a couple years ago.

But now I had a new bug: Chrome would randomly lock up for about 30 seconds when a video was playing

First - I can’t believe people still use Chrome. Second - Chrome has done shit like this for 10 years.

Homeboy here is a classic example of a frog boiling slowly. Glad he made it out.

Translation: “All y’all gonna get sued so hard one day. I’m out, I got paid $74 million last year.”