JIRA and Bitbucket are so bad that even Microsoft Azure DevOps (that is a reskin of the decade old Visual Studio Online, which itself is a reskin on the two decade old Microsoft TFS) is somehow better than it. And everyone loves to hate on Microsoft products.

Are there any actually good enterprise grade Task tracker + Code repo combo that we should be suggesting the execs migrate to? Maybe the GitHub Enterprise product?

I literally have dreams about that happening at my place. Like, often dream about searching through the garage for a box or something and I open a door to a hallway that leads to a totally different part of our house that we forgot about since we moved in.

Nice one. I agree that the hardest part of hoarding potentially useful stuff is being able find it 5 years later when I finally have a use for it.