Don Kiedyck

The only violent terrorists in the US are ICE agents and cops.

Bullshit.

However, speaking of documents, show us those Epstein files.

A quick side note for those not familiar with the American South, this is pronounced with three syllables.

I’d like to sign up for Masturbation for 30 Years, please.

We didn’t have cool electives like these when I was in high school.

John Wayne Gacy is a meme now?

Same thought, two showers.

Springfield, KS is a ghost town.

Crowd size?

It’s baseball season.

This is the first website I ever saw. My brother is an asshole.

So they’re both Austin Powers?

I’m pretty sure that first testimonial is actually Austin Powers.

Masturbate.

The Iraq war was “justified” largely for the same reason the Iran war is being.

To distract everyone from the Epstein files?

Clever.

Here’s a good one:

“Walker Texas Ranger” <—> “Karate Wrangler Sex”

“We are all African.” — Richard Dawkins

Ding-a-ling: Chuck Berry fan

What about tallywhacker? Or schlong?

I’m always left out.

I hate when autocorrect changes “limp dicks” to “lame ducks”.

Seriously? Just pee in the washing machines like the rest of us.