I went to the hospital with ideation once, told them I had the plan, the means, and the desire. I was drunk as shit, which tended to be the times I was most suicidal. The intake guy was like… let’s just sober up a bit, you don’t want to be here, you’re not suicidal. Told me how bad it would get if they admitted me. For a while after that I was pretty pissed that he basically turned me back out coldly, then after time I realized he saved me a huge cost and burden. He was right.

You know what stopped the suicidal thoughts tho, getting sober, and having a kid slammed the whole book shut. I actually had to hit a therapist up because my only real coping skill was contemplating suicide, had to learn others.