In 10th grade, my best friend moved away and I realized I had very few friends left. I had spent middle school considering myself part of the “social outcast” group that didn’t really fit into any of the cliques. What I did was find the lunch table that other students I shared classes with and sat there listening to them talk. Sometimes all the seats were full and I sat at a different table, but eventually as I got to understand the people and dynamics at play I started chiming in a little more until eventually I was part of the friend group.

From there I felt more comfortable talking to more people, so I did until eventually in senior year there were folks saying hi to me while walking down the hall pretty frequently, I knew most people in my graduating class of 350 to some degree, and for some reason I was voted prom king.

I had the benefit of being in the same school district from grades 1-12 so I had had most of my life to that point to learn names, but my core advice remains the same. I became less awkward (or at least good enough at owning being awkward to not matter) by befriending new people, and I befriended new people by inserting myself into a friend group over time, and I did that by just being present and quiet until I felt comfortable enough to speak up more.